Patient Stories
Beth
"I had recurrent losses, one of them was a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks. I took treatment at home and I was terrified with what to do with the pregnancy products. I was told to flush them down the toilet but that didn't sit right with me as I felt it was human tissue, and a much wanted pregnancy. In the end I did do this in a panic because I was too afraid to look - I knew at 10 weeks there would be a small but recognisable form of an early baby. I felt guilty about doing this afterwards and still do.
In another pregnancy, due to recurrent losses, I was told that if I lost the pregnancy again to bring the products in for testing. When I asked how to do this I was given a sick bowl to put in the toilet, and told to fish it out and to bring it in to reception in a plastic tub. The thought of having to do this made the anxiety about losing the pregnancy worse and I am not sure I would have been able to bring myself to dothis had I needed to, and we could have missed out on important genetic testing."
Natasha
"Hi, on two occasions I was given medication for a "medically managed miscarriage" and was supposed to go to hospital the next day but both times it happened at home the same day.
The first time I didn't even realise and just thought it was very heavy bleeding.
The second time I was a bit further along. I miscarried onto a towel and the baby was about 3 inches inside the sac. I put him, for some reason I always thought I was having boys even though our daughter was stillborn, into a plastic bag then into a takeaway box.
When we went to hospital for the scheduled appointment they said everything looked normal ie they weren't worried that there was anything left inside me.
They offered to "dispose" of the baby but we said no and buried him at our daughters grave.
I think the dignity packs would be a brilliant idea. So much of what happens is without dignity. After the first time I still had to attend hospital and spend the whole day capturing anything I passed into a cardboard toilet cover. Absolutely nothing came out despite us being there for the whole day and that's when I realised that the heavy bleeding the night before had been the miscarriage itself."
Sherine
"I have sadly suffered 3 miscarriages, all 3 were missed miscarriages, I attended for scans to be told there was no heartbeat and that the likelihood would be that I would miscarry naturally at home. Understandably my mind was elsewhere and didn’t think to ask what to do when this happened, and no advice was given either. I miscarried approx 1 week later into the toilet- due to the pain I was in it didn’t cross my mind until I then looked into the toilet and realised the pregnancy had passed- I then felt horrendous guilt and that my little baby didn’t deserve such an undignified ending. You associate the toilet with flushing away waste products....no baby deserves to be categorised in the same manner.
I say over my toilet sobbing and apologising for over an hour because I didn’t have the heart to pull the flush. I have had to do this 3 times now, it never gets any easier- if anything it only adds more trauma to such a heartbreaking situation. This will live with me forever"
Emma
"I had a late miscarriage at 17 weeks. I was initially seen at triage due to potting (Saturday evening), where they discovered no heartbeat. I was given medication at 9pm and told to go home for 48 hours before coming back in on Tuesday AM to deliver in hospital. I actually ended up delivering at home in our bathroom on the Sunday morning 7am- only 10 hours from having the first dose of medication.
I have to say it was pretty terrifying- I could barely look at my baby as I was so scared and (looking back) I can see now I was in complete shock, and also hadn't been prepared in terms of what to expect at all. I guess on the assumption that we'd be going back in and a midwife would talk us through process and what size baby would be/what she'd look like etc.
Anyway, we ended up having to call an ambulance. We just used a Tupperware from the kitchen to place her in whilst I was lying waiting on the ambulance. We didn't really know what to do and were in panic mode.
Paramedics brought her in to hospital in the Tupperware, they just covered it with a towel I think for transporting us in.
Eventually at hospital we did spend some time with her in the proper little baskets they have and the midwife talked me very gently through what to expect for her stage of development etc.
It felt awful putting her in a Tupperware box but as I said we didn't know what else to do. That all felt pretty undignified for her and for me. I think if there is anything to help people who miscarry at home that sounds like worth investigating/pursuing"